Program 1

Uploaded 1/23/03

1. The Druggist 9.2mb

One of C&S’s oldest and greatest hidden microphone sequences. They walk into a pharmacy and ask the man behind the counter if they can buy surgical supplies. Jim wants to operate on Mal---open up his chest and poke around---Mal’s had some sort of pain in there. The Druggist is one of the world’s most compassionate characters-- Monroe Mendlesohn. Years later Sharpe gave this recording to Monroe's widow. It is the only way Monroe's grandchildren have ever heard his voice. Listen carefully at the beginning of the sequence, after Mal puts the briefcase with tape recorder on the counter, and you will hear a beautiful recording of a sound that has disappeared from american life---a vintage cash register bell.
From the CD, "On The Loose"

2. Printer-Painter 2.4mb

An unrelenting, non-sequitar confuso. C&S politely drive this printer insane. When they originally taped this with their hidden tape recorder, they could not bring themselves to tell the victim it was a joke and get a signed release. It never appeared on their early LPs. Now that over 40 years have passed, it’s possible that the printer won’t mind or that he has passed too.
From the CD "Audio Visionaries."

3. New Year's Broadcast 1964 11mb

On New Year's Eve,1963, Mal Sharpe was still very excited to be on the radio. He wanted to tape Coyle and Sharpe's Best of the Year Show but in those days there were no cassette machines---and no reel to reel tape recorders that were part of a stereo system---at least one that he could afford. So he took the Uher tape recorder, the one that he and Coyle used on the street, and placed the microphone on an orange crate not far from his cheesy AM radio. Occasionally you can sense that Sharpe is turning the Uher to the pause mode in an effort to save tape. This was all taking place in his beatnik pad on the top of Telegraph Hill. The rent then, $75 with view of Golden Gate Bridge--the rent today is $2700. If you listen closely, at one point, you can hear a voice in the room with him. Sharpe no longer recalls who that person was. Aside from C&S's material, the fun part of this show is hearing the commercials which are advertising things at 1963 prices, like pillowcases for ten cents. Also,there are movie ads and lot of terrible early 60's music. Even though KGO was 50,000 watt ABC station, it was a talk format and management didn't care what kind of music was played-- so you will hear a mishmash of Kingston Trio, Mantovani and other puzzling choices. Frankly, now that program directors have gotten their claws into music lists, the melodic world has deteriorated. So sit back with a glass of cheap red wine, put down your brand new copy of Alan Ginsburg's Howl and try to imagine how positive the planet was with JFK in the White House and C&S on the Loose.

4. Werewolf 4.5mb

A Halloween favorite on many radio stations. Mal introduces a pedestrian to a celebrity, James Acoyle---a werewolf. Jim undergoes a frightening transformation right before your ears. The victim (or Terrorizee) is truly starting to back away.
From the CD "On The Loose."

MP3s from
Upcoming Programs

We will be rotating the MP3s on this site in 4-track "programs." Here are some MP3s that will be coming up in future programs:

Grevenz. Jim poses as a hypnotist auditioning with Mr. Sharpe to get a job on KGO Radio. Sharpe introduces him to a passerby. ( In 2003 would Clear Channel Media ever think about adding a hypnotist to their staff?) After a mesmerizing preamble, Jim utters the hypnotic word “Gravenz” and causes the pedestrian to loose his “Oral Capacity.” Grevenz was a utilitarian word in the C&S lexicon. When a small part was missing, you could look for the “Grevenz.” Go back to the car and see if the “Grevenz” is in there. What did he have to say? “Grevenz” Not to be confused with the command “Negahanz” which meant, “Take a hike.” Have you guys got a cigarette? “Negahanz.”
From an upcoming CD release.

He Has Slipped Away. C&S go into an umbrella shop and, posing as foreign agents, enlist the European proprietor in helping to trap Dr. Grovonius.This is a quiet slice of life with an undertone of paranoia. Jim almost cracks up when asked his name---only Mal can tell.
From an upcoming CD release.

Exhaust Pipe---Bell Brand Potato Chip radio commercial 1969. Coyle and Sharpe have been split up for a couple of years when an idea that an advertising agency guy has finally sells. There is no replacing Jim but Mal gets a radio pal, Ernie Anderson to help out. Ernie is the father of today’s movie director, Paul Thomas Anderson (Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love + Boogie Nights). This campaign was a huge success and lasted for several years.

Egyptian Graveyard Spy. C&S have been plotting to have their San Francisco Armed Forces invade Los Angeles. In this episode they try to recruit an Egyptian man to go and live in a graveyard near Beverly Hills. At night he, and several hundred others, will come out of their coffins and roam the streets.
From an upcoming CD release.

The Feast of Patience. A Bugravian opera. This is an example of what C&S called a “Two Voice.” In order to fill up their KGO nightly radio show with 12 selections a night, five nights a week, they had to resort to sitting at Jim’s dining room table on Baker Street and ad libbing sequences into their Uher tape recorder. Bugravian operas, set on the mythical island Republic of Bugravia, were a big favorite---they were a surrealistic version of The Texaco Opera House which had been heard on network radio for years. Since Coyle was a classical music nut, mainly Bruckner and Mahler, this was easy. Sharpe, who played trombone in a jazz band, liked to sing.
From the CD, "On The Loose."

Favorite Fish, MX Missile, Planet Maldek. In 1980, after Mal moved back to San Francisco with his wife Sandra and six year old daughter Jennifer, he took a free lance job with the news department of a rock ‘n roll station, KMEL--- better known as The Camel. He was The Camel on the Street. This material is from an LP he did entitled THE LAST MAN ON THE STREET, now out of print. Once again, he was free to roam the alleys of San Francisco and he even was present at the convention in Detroit where Ronald Reagan was nominated for President.

Coyle & Sharpe © Mal Sharpe